I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
