i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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