I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
