why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
