then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
