her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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