Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He passed out mid-signature
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
