"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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