just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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