So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
