btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Randomize
