You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
