So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize