it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
