Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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