he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
