Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
