but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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