Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
