she was so not down for the gang bang
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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