3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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