i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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