i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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