I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
