ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
