I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
