So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
