i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
