got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need to calm my uterus...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
