She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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