I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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