I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
