??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
