Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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