and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
