hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
