Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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