The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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