I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
