When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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