they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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