I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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