seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
