I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
