You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i permit you to call me
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
