His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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