I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
