My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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