I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We got so high we made milksteak
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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