I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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