I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize