No, drunk sperm still make babies.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Of course I have a pirate flag
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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