Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
