so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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