I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
