but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
