its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
