how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
