i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
