D3 body, D1 cock
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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