i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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