Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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