I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
