Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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