You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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