So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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